My experience with Meditation

Learning to meditate is easier than many may think. Quieting the mind and relaxing is something most people think they know how to do. Many also think that meditation is hard or a waste of time. I mean sitting there and thinking and doing nothing, what is the point. Well there is scientific reporting on the many benefits of meditation and how it can improve one's life and well being. I have read some of these reports and can attest there is something to them. However, I have always found first hand knowledge and experience to be the best purveyor of truth in regards to personal experience.

I was quite the mess, full of stress, anxiety and anger and I was grumpy and short with friends and family. I had a work situation that was not benefiting my life and the source of most of these issues. I ended up with the stress ulcers and eventually one of them popped. The enterologist who perform the endoscopy confirmed that one of the 3 ulcers had indeed ruptured and the remaining two were on the verge of rupturing. He told me if I did not get rid of the stress in my life the remaining two would also rupture, causing severe internal leakage and would cause my body to become sceptic and I would likely die.

Quite the conundrum, (short version) so I quit my job and tried to destress. Of course being out of work and thinking about my future was also stressful. I needed to change something. I had been familiar with meditation and had practiced it sporadically over the years, with times of dedicated practice and other times of sporadic practice. I thought it was about time I started a serious practice of meditating again. My first meditation was noisy, so many thoughts running through my brain. Thoughts about work, life and the future, the past, it was all a little overwhelming. Remembering to notice I was having thoughts and release those thoughts was helpful, but by no means removed those thoughts. I was only able to meditate for about 10 minutes before I got too restless and prematurely ended my first session.

I remember thinking, this is harder than I remember. Too many thoughts running through my mind, way too hard to just turn it off. I had thoughts like, "I suck at this" and "I guess that is why I stopped doing it". I am not a quitter and the next day I was at it again but this time I was determined to try harder and longer. I set my intention to meditate for 15 minutes and this time I would do a guided meditation. This time I was much more successful in meditation. I was able to focus on the teacher and their words and I was able to draw inspiration from his words and the noise was much less. Of course, once I found myself in a pretty good inner space of peace and quiet, I noticed the chatter in my mind came back. However, I was able to notice that I was having thoughts and release those thoughts and get a few more minutes of quiet before the next group of thoughts came along. I was able to notice and release the next group of thoughts as well.

This meditation was much more successful in the personal goals I was looking to achieve through meditation. Then I realized that having expectations of a meditation is the wrong way to go about it. The guided meditation was the best way to get back into the meditation process because it removed my preconceived notions and expectations. Not sure how or why, but by sitting, relaxing and just listening to someone guide me through the process takes the pressure off having to remember what I needed to do or how long I needed to meditate or the process. I just had to sit, relax and follow instructions and that was very liberating for me. It took all the pressure off of me and I just had to listen, and I loved it.

After a few more meditation sessions I came to realize that each session was unique, some quieter than others and some more grounding than others. Each meditation was different and putting a unified expectation on a series of events is ridiculous. Each experience will be different and meditation is no different. The realization that expecting a uniform experience that gets better and better as in conventional tasks where the more you practice the better you become. Meditation is sort of like that but also is not like that at all. You do become better at releasing the random thoughts that come during meditation, providing you with more time in a meditative state. The thoughts will always come into your mind, sometimes more than others and sometime more random than others. Stay focused on the point of meditation and releasing the thoughts as they come.

The longer you meditate the more you will benefit from the experience and the more calm and relaxed you will feel because the more time you will be in a meditative state. I know for me, after the third session I felt noticeably calmer and relaxed. I was less grumpy and reactive and my wife was noticing the difference. By the tenth session I was up to 30 minute sessions and even my friends were noticing that I was much more relaxed and back to my happy self again. The biggest difference I personally noticed was the ability to handle stressful situations without getting myself worked up. It was like I was a different person and becoming more grounded and centered. I knew at that moment meditation would become a bigger and more permanent part of my life. Honestly without it, I would not be the person I have become today. I still have my issues as we all do, but I know that I am more relaxed and able to handle the daily stresses that come from life and meditation is to thank for that.

I have created a 5, 10, 15, 20, 30, 45 and 60 minute meditation to help others get started with there meditation practice and work there way up to whatever there magic time is. You will find them on this site under media/videos or on our YouTube channel.